You Deserve God's Love

"You are worthy of love even if you don’t deserve it" was the more diplomatic way I shared my Christian hot-take during service.

I know, my statement doesn’t sound like it makes any sense so allow me to explain.

But first, some context: I heard an adult tell a room full of kids at VBS the previous week that “we don’t deserve God’s love.” It was even in one of the VBS songs, "even though I don't deserve it..." This idea didn’t sit right with me. But why? Is it wrong?

For God so loves YOU! (John 3:16)

What does the Bible say?

I did some digging…

There is no verse in the Bible that explicitly says we don’t deserve God’s love. But there are verses that say we have earned death.

For the wages of sin is death... —Romans 6:23

And Paul had previously said, "All have sinned" (Romans 3:23), so logically we deserve to die. So, choices and actions have consequences. What does that have to do with love?

Before I answer that question we should take the time to define the word 'deserve'.

The YES and No of Deserving God's Love

What does it mean to deserve something?

The word deserve means "to earn or to be worthy of something because of your actions, behavior, or qualities." [Emphasis added for a reason!]

This is where things get tricky.

A crucial distinction in the Bible is the difference between merit and worth:

• Merit is based on what you do or achieve - earned based on actions.

• Worth is based on your qualities, like how the Creator values you.

This distinction splits that definition of deserve. You don’t deserve love based on merit, you can't earn it. It is not owed to you based on your actions. BUT, you are worthy of love based on the qualities that God has bestowed upon you.

What qualities? You are a child of God, for one.

As a parent myself, I would say that my children deserve my love because they are mine. They were desired and made to be loved. So, one of the qualities, distinguishing characteristics, of my children is that they belong to me. Another is that they were co-created to be in a loving relationship with me.

I know, the semantics are getting real!

The bottom line is we are worthy of love because He created us to be loved. And just as you and I would never stop loving our own children because of their mistakes, God also loves us in spite of our sin (Romans 5:8). Love transcends merit. Love is other-centered, and not transactional (1 Corinthians 13).

Two things can be true at the same time! We deserve God's love based on our qualities as His children. And, we deserve death because of our sin.

Praise the Lord our sins, our mistakes, don't stop a God who is love (1 John 4:16) from loving us so much that He created a plan (John 3:16; Ephesians 1:4) to save us from the consequences that we deserve!

Be Careful Little Mouth What You Speak

The word 'deserve' in this context requires nuanced thinking that I don't believe many children are capable of (remember I heard this at VBS). I don’t think I like saying children don’t deserve God’s love. I’m going to avoid it even if it isn’t technically wrong (you can't earn love in the sense that it is owed). So if you choose to continue to use the phrase, proceed with caution.

A Cautionary Tale

After I shared my hot-take with the congregation I got several pats on the back, several "good job" sentiments. But one lady thanked me and shared her heartbreaking story.

She told me because she was told as a child that she didn't deserve God's love that she decided by age 15 that she would "earn the burn." She was told so many times that she didn't deserve love, and that she did deserve punishment, that she had a wrong picture of God's character.

This lady shared with me that it wasn't until many years later that she finally "met a loving God" in an AA meeting! Her story made me wonder how many others patting me on the back had similar experiences. My heart ached for the years of loving relationship she, and others, had lost due to Christianity's careless messaging!

New believers are considered "babes in Christ." Hebrews 5:13-14 acknowledges the idea that we grow in spiritual maturity, calling some concepts "milk" versus "solid food". So even adult Christians that are new to the faith may not be ready to process the spiritual solids, the nuance, of saying "we don't deserve God's love" and still have a right picture of God's character!

Given that the phrase put such a weight in my chest when I heard it (I believe myself to be ready for solid spiritual food), I am advocating that we stop saying it all-together!

What's Love Got To Do With It?

It is God's nature to love. Loving is who He is (1 John 4:8)! Our Heavenly Father, because of His love for us, created a plan to mitigate the consequences that we deserve (our sin has earned us death). Without the Gospel our relationship would come to an end. He didn't want that. He wants an eternal relationship with you. God has determined you are worthy of His eternal love.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love..." —Jeremiah 31:3 NIV

This love has led to the gift of grace. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV). Grace is defined as "unmerited favor" in Christianity. Again, pointing to the fact that according to the law (Galatians 3:10) we are undeserving of this second chance at eternal life and eternal relationship with Love.

However, He has made the way through faith in Jesus Christ! Through our faith in Jesus we can claim His death as our penalty for sin (our death), AND we can claim His resurrection as our new life in the Spirit (Romans 7:1-6)! Christ is deserving, and His sacrifice has made you deserving again (you are His child and you are redeemed).

He Has Earned It!

When we look at our relationship with God from the bottom up, from the child to Heavenly Father perspective there is so much merit! He has created us and Matthew 7:11 says, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”

He wants to give us good things. He gave us the ultimate good thing in Jesus! God deserves our love. He is worthy of our worship. He has earned it!

We love because he first loved us. —1 John 4:19 NIV

The topic of what we "deserve" is messy. But the idea got me to think about how much God deserves. Consider the value that God has bestowed upon you. He has deemed you worthy!

You deserve to be loved, and you are!